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Showing posts from April, 2013

Sometimes your best ain't good enough

Pah. This isn't a negative post, more a resigned one.  It's been a weird old couple of weeks, not sure if I'm here or there.
Had a job, tried my best, bent over backwards, go taken advantage of, left. Seems to be a pattern.
Happens with people sometimes too. Make a friend, have fun, lend an ear, need an ear, nothing. People might describe me as "not very assertive", but I'd rather call it trusting and quiet.

 I do wonder about "growing a pair" and telling people where to go, but if I ever slightly raise my voice they go all mock-shock and act like I'm insane.  And I may very well be, because arguing just ain't my bag, baby. I'd far rather bitch behind your back and not make the effort again, I'm afraid.
Even when people are complete A-holes, I still make excuses for them and protect them, "maybe they were bullied", "maybe they are jealous", "maybe they're just not happy", and by always seeing the go…

You can't escape your baby.

THEY infiltrate every bit of your life. Haha, "life"!

I was out. Out out. Out on my own, minus toddler, with adults, in the real world, doing real world stuff. It felt bizarre.
Something required me to have a pen. "I have a pen!"
I do have a pen in my bag. But when I grope about my bag I pull out 5 crayons, at various stages of being eaten, a pen mysteriously wrapped in a tissue which seems a bit risky, and a water pen for an Aquadraw mat. Which has leaked, obvo.

Then when it comes to writing I find myself "sounding out" the words, and discover I can't actually spell, or write anymore. Sigh.

OK, screw that, I'm off to the bar. What do I want? Err, that fruity looking thing? HOW MUCH?? Oh god. After a few sips of liquid gold or whatever the fuck it is, and a few rounds of "Is that kid old enough to be in here" I'm off to the loo. Yes it is the fifth time I've gone tonight, problem?

Wow, what have they done to the mirrors in here?…