The Daphne Tree

Sometimes I forget that Daphne is two, and rhyme and reason do not exist. So when I find myself getting annoyed and flustered, I try to remember that she has been on this earth a mere 30 months, and she thinks her shoes are going to eat her feet. This morning I overheard her dad explaining that "you can't always have everything you want" and laughed, as I have tried to say exactly the same, but all a two year old hears is "No no no! We hate you!" Here are a few more translations, I know they are true because of the reactions I get from her. I say: "Just one cake." She hears: "You can never eat cake again, in fact I'm going to starve you and you will die." I say: "Can you get your coat on please?" She hears: "We're leaving and you will never see any of your toys again." I say: "Bathtime!" She hears: "Time to rub shampoo into your eyes and then drown you, yay!" It's not "we...

Everyone knows they’re part of a gang. But the gangs shift. A LOT. I was in the “loads of friends, pretty, clever, healthy, happy” gang. Then I was in the “alcoholic father” gang. Then the “cheated on” gang. Then the “dead dad” gang. Then the “married” gang, and then the “baby” gang, and I’m now graduating from the “traumatic birth” gang into the “only one child gang”.   Bear with me, I’m not being depressing! I hope… I’m also realising that you’re always in a gang, and it’s a gang of one. There is no way that anyone can be in exactly the same boat as you. No one is better off than you, and no one is worse off. We’re all just us, right? Some things can’t even be directly compared. I have no doubt that for lots of girls in particular, while you’re single it’s an eternal quest for the perfect man, and then you have to get a ring, and then you have to get a baby, then another baby. Then you want a nicer house, a bigger kitchen. A dog? Then you retire. Then…? But it NEVER...