Parenthood-related Illness

Don't have a kid if you object to the following:

Severe insomnia (a given)
Sharp-plastic toy-in-foot syndrome
Deafness interspersed with supersonic hearing
Continual diet and "support-wear" addiction
Other addictions include caffiene (purely cold) and alcohol (purely warm)
Bank account haemorrage
Obsessive lego picking, and occasional fuzzy felt peelage
Haggard appearance
May become blind to most types of mess
Constant elbow-in-boob-itis
Heightened sense of smell
Lop-sided hips/ arms/ back from child-wearing
Incurable baby voice
May develop ability to see 2 seconds into the future but be powerless regarding what happens
Ability to go from fully reclined to completely upright while still unconscious
Loss of memory (except when it comes to remembering to feed the family three times a day for the rest of your life, of course)
Loud shouting when near a road
Facial expressions which belie actual emotion (You really are very angry that Little Fred has put his penis in his bolognese...)

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The Liebster Award!

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The Daphne Tree

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