Tuesday, 8 January 2013

I hate Goodbyes

Even when I know it's for the best, I do hate goodbyes. Is there such a thing as a good goodbye?
I'm used to goodbyes; relationships, jobs, friends, towns. I've moved house 12 times in as many years, lost my best friends, broken up with a fiancé, had countless jobs due to moving around, and of course I always knew I'd have to say goodbye to my dad early...
I love moving house... Maybe that's why I do it so much! I love the de-cluttering and packing, the organising and rearranging of furniture, the buying new stuff! I like having to be resourceful and decorating on a budget.
Getting to know a new town is great too, exploring, meeting locals and becoming one.
The losing friends and losing blokes is probably just life. It hurts like hell, but deep down you know it's for a reason, and you carry on living. It's not your soul.
Saying goodbye to a job should be easier than it is, but when you spend day in, day out with people, it somehow becomes your personality, and is hard to shake off. And it is hard to never see people again, when you once thought they were friends. The fact that the job carries on and someone else just fills your place is hard to swallow perhaps. Perhaps you never really mattered.
Which is why a job is just a job!

Saying goodbye to a human being who is going to die is unfathomable until it happens. And in my experience everything else just stops. I was expecting it, and it broke my heart. How do you cope when the unspeakable happens?

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