Well, SCREW that. I love writing and talking shit, so I need to get it out, regardless!
Time has gone by and this little dumpling:
has grown sooooooo much into this rather smart schoolgirl:
And I'm sure I'm the same as every mother in that looking at those two photos makes me want to cry! She is a completely different person! Oh how I miss those chubby little cheeks and huge eyes!
It seems like a world away, and also only yesterday.
School has brought with it a whole new set of worries, achievements and well, confusion. I thought I'd know it all as a teacher, but nothing prepares you for THE OTHER SIDE.
When I was teaching and parents dropped their kids off at school and insisted on lingering, I'd roll my eyes and wish they would bugger off so little Helvetica could have a quick cry and then get on with things.
I'd answer their myriad questions at the end of the day and pretend to care (I did care, but caring 30 times is hard) that the triplets all had runny noses, or that Django couldn't quite wipe his own arse yet.
OH how the tides do turn. The cruel irony is not lost on me.
How big should her school shoes be? What if they're not quite right and chafe her all day?
Speaking of ALL DAY, won't she DIE of tiredness?
They don't have toys on the playground like at nursery, what will she DO?
What if she can't make friends?
What if she can't wipe her arse?
How can she be expected to manoeuvre tights?
Will she eat the school dinners? What if she doesn't eat anything and passes out halfway through "We're going on a Bear Hunt"?
What if she turns into a complete bitch? (I've heard about this)
What if she gets scared?
What if she ALWAYS cries EVERY morning?
What if she hates school and refuses to go and and and...
She did cry, an awful lot, which surprised me as she's quite a confident kid. But starting school is a massive deal for them (at the time) and at the moment we're battling finger and sleeve nibbling, and "friend worries". When I actually brave the school gates throng and talk to someone else though, it turns out they all have the same. Some kids have regressed to thumb sucking, some are still crying and may for a while, some are tantrumming...
All the parents are as worried as each other, and also trying to remember that we're all in the same boat, millions of these boats have gone before us, and everything will be ok.
My teacher head knows that everything will be ok, but my mum head is full of questions.
So if you're not there yet, remember you're not alone.
We're almost at the first half term, and I'm pretty sure all that has mattered to my Duck is
a) A goodbye hug and kiss every morning.
b) What's for dinner?
I think I can manage that.