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Midlife CWISIS

I don't know if I'm officially "mid life" (OK well I totally am, considering 74 would be really good going considering my love of cheese and wine), and it's not really a "crisis" as such, more a dull wondering of what the F do I do now, and that kind of stuff.
I'm not a "millenial" technically, but I am a slow learner and matured late, if at all, so I think I have some "millenial" tendencies.
And one tendency right here is thinking
"Oh gosh, oh poor me, I don't really know what I'm doing with my life, and all I really want to do is run away and live in a hut on a beach and look good in a bikini and for my life to have meaning..."
So I am very aware of that, just so ya know. It's a bit of a First World Problem (wow I use a lot of stupid phrases) to need meaning to your life and want more. Just bloody keep your family alive and get on with it already.
BUT... I'm getting a definite sense of... is it all over, you know? And I am very much a person who loves the thrill of the chase, the anticipation BEFORE Christmas, or the wedding, or whatever. Seriously, I get so annoyed if my husband books a holiday because I love just poring over pictures and brochures for months and months just IMAGINING what could be. Looking at all the places and dreaming is all the fun for me. That IS a FWP isn't it? I remember an old friend who had four holidays a year and said "holidays are important to me", as if they weren't important to someone who couldn't afford them! What a laugh. I sound like her now, Damn.

Anyway now I'm shacked up, have a kid, have had a career (wasn't great), have had friends (making more is work), and now I'm just a bit... Meh. (see, millenial, I told you.)

Does that count as a crisis?

Anyway, I really think there should be more, and I want to do more with my time on the old planet. So I'm resurrecting the blog to keep track of what I'm going to do. I'm not sure quite what that is yet, but it will possibly involve veganism, feminism, Oh god this sounds terrible... Fuck it, there will also be sharks and cake.
I've always wanted to go in one of those cages with sharks! Can't really promise that though.


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